News Flash!!

Seeings have been reported of a Korean kid running around in the Topanga mall screaming his head off because of NIKE.

Witnesses say that the kid was apparently mad at NIKE, for he took a match and burned down the NIKE section of Robinson Mays.

When the police finally manages to contain him, he disabled everyone with the horrible smell of AXE. With 50 officers in pursuit of him, the police describe him as ," Dangerous, may have AXE spray with him. If so, approach with extreme caution."

The Korean then ran over to Pac Sun, where he blinded white people by wearing HOLLISTER clothing. He then grabbed a pair of ripped jeans and proceeded to hide from the police by pretending to be a hobo.

After avoiding the whole police department, police say that he slipped undetected to the casting scenes of "The OC", where he proceeded to destroy all the new episodes.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" says the Asian maniac.

"I SHALL RID THE WORLD OF THE IMPURITIES!!!!!"


Clyde wakes up in bed where he finds himself cluthing a issue of TIME.

Oh well..........a man can dream, cant he?

And so it shall be........